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There have been moments. Moments glorious. Moments inglorious. Moments nevertheless. Moments when I’ll be driven to distraction. When I’ll stay awake nights and still trudge through the mornings. Moments seemingly, wonderfully real, yet ersatz to the core. Moments when I’ll be lost in a tide of depression, moments I’ll never want to let go of, precious in all their bitter-sweetness. Moments when I’ll feel I’ve drained yet the tears will keep falling. Moments when I’ll trade rationality for naïveté. Moments when I’ll let my guard drop and the iniquity will come seeping in. Moments of rapture, when I’ll resort to making an utter fool of myself, when I’ll be the most gullible. Moments when I’ll let go of all facades, charades and semblances. Moments when I’ll hate you, fate and all those things I love. Moments when I’ll feel guilty; when I’ll abhor myself for this very heinous crime, the crime of thinking malevolently about you. Moments when I’ll feel like every nerve in my body is on fire. Moments, when I’ll forget my existence. Moments, when I’ll smile unthinkingly, indulge in self afflicting laughter. Moments when I’ll curse myself for not realizing I worship you. When I’ll give up, resurrect, and then fade away again, ever so slowly…
And you won’t even know.